Stargate Oversight

S3E2 - Fair Game

Finally, a big moment for our girl Samantha Carter. Hope and Frosty are celebarting as finally we get to see a woman succeed in the great institution that is the United States Air Force, an organisation that we hear is very progressive. Okay, but seriously it's cool that she gets promoted to Major now. Now, it is kind of weird that we have a squad that consists of a Colonel, a Major, and what are essentially two civillian contractors. It's a TV show, it doesn't matter.
Unfortunately, Major Carter's big moment is entirely snatched up by that dickhead little alien guy Thor ruining the whole thing. Jack gets nonconsensually teleported aboard his ship, which is currently in orbit above Earth, as he brings grave tidings to our Colonel. Turns out that the Goa'uld are slightly pissed off that we keep killing them. We've killed a lot of them. We've killed 3 System Lords at this point. They will invade Earth unless our little grey friend manages to convince a group of Goa'uld represenstives that humans should be allowed into the Space UN. Hey, would've been nice if you told us this existed earlier.
 
Jack, for some goddamn reason, is picked by Thor to be the diplomat for the entirety of Earth. Yeah, sure. This one random soldier and the guy in charge of the squad that has killed most of these people should be the diplomat in charge of us all. If only we had professional diplomats. Jack has to win over the three Go'auld Kronos, Yu, and Nirrti. Not an easy feat, especially when there is a murrrrrrrrrrrrrder. Dun, dun dun. Also, this is yet another episode that has its central conflict caused by Teal'c deciding not to tell everyone something again.
 
Join our Patreon at the $3.50+ tier in order to access to a monthly bonus episode and extended cuts of some main episodeshttps://www.patreon.com/SGOPodcastFeaturing:The Ice Queen herself Arcticia Frost
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Ryan

S3E1 - Seth

After bonus month, we are finally back with Stargate! We're now onto Season 3, although this is technically the second episode of the season, but we don't edge you with the two part finales split across the seasons. You want to know who else will not edge you?We see the Tok'ra dad arriving to tell everyone that yet another Goa'uld is hiding out on our planet. His name is Seth. Our boy Seth has been hiding out on the planet incognito for thousands of years as he is yet another in a long line of "dudes the System Lords would like to kill". How do you find an alien who has been hiding amongst your population for countless generations, switching hosts and locations to avoid being discovered? Well, you google the word "cult". Yep, we found him.
 
He's hiding out in Groverhaus with his weird sex cult and the ATF are trying to move in on the place, because they heard that they have too many alive dogs in there. Join Frosty, Hope, and Ryan for another season of this weird and usually wonderful television show. I write these episode summaries, so I put my name first.
 
Join our Patreon at the $3.50+ tier in order to access to a monthly bonus episode and extended cuts of some main episodeshttps://www.patreon.com/SGOPodcastFeaturing:The Ice Queen herself Arcticia Frost
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Ryan

[Preview]Bonus Month Patreon Episode - Seven Samurai (1954)

This is a preview of the bonus episode available on the $3.50 tier of our Patreon.
 
In the 16th Century, Japan was long into its Sengoku (Warring States) Period. With no legitimate Shogun to enforce the Emperor's Law across the land, the disperate feudal lords forged alliances and fought in bloody conflicts to seize the title of the military dictator of Japan. What this meant in reality for the everyday peasants toiling in the fields was that warring Samurai clans were constantly raiding your home, taking your shit and killing you. With constant war came constant lawlessness, so when Samurai weren't pillaging you, bandits were instead. Being a peasant fucking sucked.
 
One village of peasants know that it's only a matter of time before their next harvest and the bandits plaguing their lands will return. Will we give them everything we have and die, or fight them and die? Neither look like great solutions. Thankfully our wise old man in the village proposes a solution. Find a samurai who will defend our village. Will a proud Samurai defend them for nothing more than a few bowls of rice? A hungry one will.
 
Thankfully, they meet a wise sagely Samurai who is convinced to help defend them for the bandits. The problem? One Samurai cannot hope to take on 40 odd bandits and hope to live without extra hands. We need something more. We need numbers. We need a rag tag team of quirked up Samurai boys. We need...Seven Samurai! That's right, this is the classic Akira Kurosawa Samurai flic that everyone gushes over. I'll say personally (as Frosty) that Japan certainly had better directors then and since, but few broke the international scene and influenced particularly the Spaghetti Western like Kurosawa. If you've seen anything Samurai related from film, television, anime, or video games, you have seen the influence Kurosawa had on how we tend to imagine Japan's feudal warrior caste.
 
Also this movie is really misogynistic, like holy shit. This time period hated women. No, I don't mean the 16th Century, I mean the 1950s.
 
And join our Patreon at the $3.50+ tier in order to access to a monthly bonus episode and extended cuts of some main episodeshttps://www.patreon.com/SGOPodcastFeaturing:The Ice Queen herself Arcticia Frost
Your Local Kistune Hope Frayorl
and Ryan
 

Bonus Month 2 Episode 3 - Like a Dragon (2007)

Extended cut available on Patreon.Now 10% slower so we're not so high pitched
 
So we did another video game movie. Standing on the shoulders of giants like Max Payne, Far Cry, and Hitman, we finally have an adaptation that's not entirely terrible. No weird transphobic jokes out of nowhere in this one either, which was not a guarantee given that early Yakuza games had some...questionable stuff sometimes.
Yes, this is an adaptation of the 2005 PS2 video game series that started the Yakuza/Like a Dragon franchise. Is it a faithful adaptation? No. Is it a good adaptation? Uhh... Is the casting good? Well, kinda. Does it tell the story of the game well? Not in the slightest. What they decided to do was to start the movie about 3 hours into the game's plot, not introduce any character motivations and explain who any of these people are. What the fuck is a Kiryu? What's a Nishiki? The movie doesn't care about any of that. If you're hear for a good story, you are out of luck.
Now, if you want some incredible fight scenes, you've got the right movie. They somehow turned the insane bicycle smashing combat of the games into live action fights. My boy Majima is straight up using his in game boss moveset as a live action real dude. A real dude is being Majima. A real dude is being Majima so well. Every scene with the Mad Dog of Shimano is absolute perfection.
Ending is absolute dog shit though. Don't get me started on the bank scenes and the weird crime couple, neither of which have any relevance to the movie whatsoever.
But this was really just an excuse for Frosty and Ryan to talk about their special interest while Hope roles her eyes for about 2-3 hours.
 
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And join our Patreon at the $3.50+ tier in order to access to a monthly bonus episode and extended cuts of some main episodeshttps://www.patreon.com/SGOPodcastFeaturing:The Ice Queen herself Arcticia Frost
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Ryan
 

Bonus Month 2 Episode 2 - Tampopo (1985)

Noodles make me really horny.If that sounds like you, you might be Juzo Itami, director of the 1985 "Ramen Western" movie Tampopo. See, it's like spaghetti, but Japan. We have a stoic cowboy hero trucker and his twink son on their travels to find MILFs to tutor in the way of the noodle. Our MILF is a lady named Tampopo, a widow tasked his running her late husband's ramen shop, but she unfortunately sucks shit at making noodles. Only a trucker in a cowboy hat, a homeless chef, a not homeless chef, and a creepy handyman could possibly resolve this.This is a movie ultimately about food. There are many ways to enjoy food and only about 90% of those involve weird food sex. Our main plot is interrupted with vignettes about various people enjoying food, which sent both Hope and Blaze insane. They hated them a lot. They wanted to just get back to the cowboy plot. Frosty, however is a freak. A weird little noodle freak.
 
Hey, if you're my brother and you're reading this, you might want to skip out on this one.
 
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And join our Patreon at the $3.50+ tier in order to access to a monthly bonus episode and extended cuts of some main episodeshttps://www.patreon.com/SGOPodcastFeaturing:The Ice Queen herself Arcticia Frost
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Blaze

Bonus Month 2 Episode 1 - Lupin the Third (2014)

More like Lupin the Turd amirite
 
For our first episode of our off season between seasons 2 and 3 of Stargate, we have the 2014 live-action Lupin the Third movie. Our idea of a theme for these was going to be a month of movies that were not in English. So naturally, Hope decided to make her pick for this be a movie that is in English. Love you, bestie. If you're a fan of the Lupin the Third franchise, I can assure you that is a movie that exists. That's about it. You probably won't enjoy this.
What we have here is a run of the mill heist movie that has very little to do with Lupin. There's definetly some guys in the movie called Lupin, Fujiko, Jigen, and Goemon. Zenigata is here too, I guess. However, the bulk of the movie covers the gay romance (don't @ me) between Lupin and the writer's OC do not steal called Michael. He's so cool. He's like Lupin but BAD!
After Michael kills an old British guy, everyone tries to track him down because he stole a necklace. A second old guy gets the necklace. They team up against him. Pretty straight forward plot, but it's made quite weird by the fact that this is an entirely Japanese cast who have been made to speak English for no reason. Sorry to the actors who were in this, but it is very clear that this is a language that you do not speak. Then again, there are a couple British and Australian actors who also seem to speak English as though they don't understand it either. Also, a bunch of the English is ADR, so this is their best take.
 
In spite of all the problems with this movie, Zenigata was cast perfectly. I have no problems with him at all.
 
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And join our Patreon at the $3.50+ tier in order to access to a monthly bonus episode and extended cuts of some main episodeshttps://www.patreon.com/SGOPodcastFeaturing:The Ice Queen herself Arcticia Frost
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Ryan
LostTheVtuber

New Years Special. S2B6 - In Memorium: Full English Breakfast (full episode)

Happy New Year. Enjoy a freebie on us, from the Patreon as we're all too busy to record this week
 
Content Warning: Racism, Torture, Misogyny/Extreme Violence towards women
 
This was a mistake. This was a horrible mistake.
Recently, a dearly beloved hero of the British people passed away. "Celebrity Gangster" Dave Courtney, who made a name of himself by pretending to have been a reformed ruthless criminal with tales of Chinese restaurant sword fights. Worse than any of these crimes that he may, or may not, have commited was the one that he subjected onto us personally. He was in a movie. Actually, he was in several movies, but this is the one that we picked. What a movie it was.
2014's Full English Breakfast, directed by beloved NHS commercial director Manish Patel, is the absolute most dogshit attempt at a Guy Ritchie movie any of us have ever seen. Be prepared for bad overdubbing, the most low budget Half-Life stock sounds you've ever heard, racism, Metal Gear Solid discourse (again), and extreme misogyny. Hope blames me for this one, but she planted the seed in my head here.
Seriously. Don't ever watch this movie. It's awful.
 
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Not Ryan
Special Guest: Imber!

Christmas 2023 Special - Under Siege 2

Welcome to the Stargate Oversight Boxing Day Special! Since this festive day is named after a combat sport, how appropriate it is that we have the master of Aikido and historic allegations of sexual misconduct to talk about today. Join us as we discuss the absolute dogshit movie that is Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. Holy shit, is this a bad movie. No one can act, Seagal is Seagal as usual, and he's noncing on his co-stars. Good luck suing us for telling the truth about you, shithead, you're hiding in Russia with your bitch boy friend.
Our Aikido Master Navy Seal Chef is back! Terrorists hijack a train to steal a satellite or some bullshit. Also, Mike from Breaking Bad was in the movie I guess.
This movie is like a bingo card for bigotry. We have misogyny and racism for everyone as a little festive treat. I hope you enjoy this absolute train wreck of a movie that I personally believe is worse than any train wreck caused Norfolk Southern.
 
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And join our Patreon at the $3.50+ tier in order to access to a monthly bonus episode and extended cuts of some main episodeshttps://www.patreon.com/SGOPodcastFeaturing:The Ice Queen herself Arcticia Frost
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Ryan

S2 Finale - Into the Future

Okay, this is technically Season 3 Episode 1, but it is the finale for our purposes.
 
So, it turns out that we didn't really go to the future! Last episode, our crew discovered that the Goa'uld were operating a fake Cheyenne Mountain complex and escaped from captivity. Alas, their escape was cut short as they discover Hathor was behind all of this all along! We were left with a cliffhanger to will they submit to her? (this would work on Frosty) Will she force one of them to take a Goa'uld and become one of them.Back at the real Cheyenne Mountain, Teal'c left SG-1 to find his people and mount a resistance against the Goa'uld. Bill Clinton really hates our crew, huh?
Between Teal'c's efforts to build a resistance group and the small SG team backup sent to rescue SG-1, Hathor must be taken down at all costs. Damn, if only we had some kind of Tok'ra insider. If only there was one obvious character who was their insider. That would be incredibly convenient. What would be even more convenient would be if Hathor had no object permanence, ADHD, and an insistance to constantly leave scenes for no reason.
 
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And join our Patreon at the $3.50+ tier in order to access to a monthly bonus episode and extended cuts of some main episodeshttps://www.patreon.com/SGOPodcastFeaturing:The Ice Queen herself Arcticia Frost
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Ryan

S2E21 - Out of Mind

Hope: haha wouldn't it be funny if I got the episode names teh wrong way round.... as a joke JKJKJK.... I did. Lol enjoy hearing next weeks ep earl;y for the first hour
 
Almost girls' night! Ryan joined us in the end, however. We wouldn't want him to miss the first part of the finale of season 2.In the near future of 2077, Stargate Command have turned into weird cosplayers who engage in CBT (decide which) with their soldiers. Frozen in cryostasis since the year 1999, Colonel Jack O'Neill awakens to learn that he is the only survivor of SG-1. In order to process what happened, to find out who froze him, we have to go through a clip show episode to remember everything about the fun dudes we've met in the show. I thought it was a really bold move to kill almost the entire main cast and the end of the second season, but we'll see how it goes.
Daniel Jackson awakens to learn that he is the only survivor of SG-1. In order for the SGC to learn how to defeat the Goa'uld, we have to go through a clip show episode to remember everything about the fun dudes we've met in the show. I thought it was a really bold move to kill almost the entire main cast and the end of the second season, but we'll see how it goes.
Captain Samantha Carter awakens to learn that she is the only survivor of SG-1. In order for the SGC to figure out which Goa'uld leader poses the greatest threat, we have to go through a clip show episode to remember everything about the fun dudes we've met in the show. I thought it was a really bold move to kill almost the entire main cast and the end of the second season, but we'll see how it goes.
Feel like something shady might be going on here.
 
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And join our Patreon at the $3.50+ tier in order to access to a monthly bonus episode and extended cuts of some main episodeshttps://www.patreon.com/SGOPodcastFeaturing:The Ice Queen herself Arcticia Frost
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Ryan